It’s Naught-y Outside

I’m not being facetious. It is Naught-y out. I hate to sound like a broken record as much as I hate to use cliches to make a point (not true), but it’s ZERO outside (Monday night: Madison, WI). “0 is neither positive nor negative” according to Wikipedia. Well according to Zachopedia zero is extremely negative. Negative in the sense that when you’re outside you hate everything in your path and peripheral. Negative in the sense that you’re unable to manufacture ideas without your brain screaming messages of “STOP DOING THIS TO ME.” Negative in the sense if pressed to produce a positive thought, you’d have ZERO output.

For the record, when I speak of zero, I’m giving the benefit of the doubt. Zero is the temperature. If you want the wind chill, which is what the temperature feels like to HUMAN BEINGS, then we have to dig below the value of NOTHING, by fifteen degrees Fahrenheit. For the minority of the earth that uses the Metric system perhaps NEGATIVE 26 degrees Celsius means something to you.

The truth is I’m sad to be graduating from a great university in a great city, with really great people, but until Madison is able to migrate to a more temperate climate, I’ll see you when global warming strikes.

Bush: A Presidential Defect w/ Good Shoe Reflex

Say what you will about the man, if shoe dodging ability were an election criteria, he’d be serving a 3rd term.

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