If you could be inside of my brain right now, you’d be punching yourself in the face because everything was moving too fast. That’s the byproduct of realizing that you’ve just committed to spending a half year in the woods. Shit. As long as I’ve signed myself up for this bout of insanity, I’m going […]
I’m always seeking reasons to make the quick 5 hour drive over to Las Vegas. “What?! It’s the 4th Annual Rare Ceramics Conference?! PACK YOUR BAGS BITCH WE’RE GOING!” However when the year’s top new technology conference is being hosted in your almost backyard [assuming your backyard is full of glitter and sin (see: Charlie […]
I talk a big game. I tell you that you need to start a personal website. I tell you to change careers (if you’re not working your passion, that is). I tell you to get up and move to a vacation destination. I tell you how you can achieve anything. But why in Chuck Norris’ […]
Accomplishing anything can be achieved in one simple step. I normally charge people $9,995.00 to obtain this ancient skill, but because it’s the holiday season, and the Apple Store was all out of iPads, I will give you this instead. I hope you like it (no 3G coverage, sorry). The Only Secret You Need to […]
You can’t look anywhere this time of the year without seeing a “2010, the year in review” or “the top X Cat Fails of 2010” or “The Top Trends in Waffles for 2010” type list. And as we all know I make my living by duplicating these cheap schemes. Which is why I’ve compiled a […]
One reoccurring theme on this site (other teaching you how to make your cat a celebrity) is an undying conviction that aligning your hobbies with your life’s work is the only way to live life. But why take my word on it? Instead take Matthew Inman’s. For the few of you who aren’t already familiar […]
As is usually the case, I greatly underestimated how long it would take to produce this video. If you withdrew even one ounce of joy, education, hatred, or stimulation, I would very much appreciate it if you could click one of the fun social media “share” buttons located around the page. I’ll reciprocate next time […]
Life’s two biggest bummers: Cancer Mustache-less faces When it was brought to my attention that we can eliminate both of these fatal diseases with one swift blow, the decision to participate was a no-brainer.
Retweet this, or I will wake up in an alley, covered in Taco Bell I’m not exaggerating. Stay with me on this one, if you will. The following sequence combines historical events with my projected future. Event #1: The Invention Facebook In 2004, Mark Zuckerberg invents “The Facebook”. College kids productivity levels plummet everywhere. Event […]
