Drive and Dasch

Chances are you’ve heard of the term dine and dash. It refers to the act of eating at a restaurant and leaving without paying the bill. Quite simply, it’s stealing.

It’s less likely, however, that you’ve heard of the term, drive and Dasch. It’s where you’re a U.S. Senator and hire a driver to escort you around in luxury vehicles and then fail to pay any taxes on the service. Oh, and your name has to be Tom Daschle. This also is stealing.

Today, Tom Daschle withdrew his name from consideration to be President Obama’s Secretary of Health and Human Services, despite likely acquiring enough senate votes to receive the nomination. This is what the media is reporting anyways. My guess is it’s more like the situation where a coach “resigns” so he can “spend more time with his family.” That’s always code for the general manager or athletic director letting the play-caller appear to take the high road out, despite being forcefully shoved from behind. Let’s not fool ourselves, this decision was made by Barack Obama. After allowing Timothy Geithner to become Treasury Secretary even though he was guilty of the very same crime as Daschle, Obama decided to cut his losses and only allow one unethical politician in this week. Our new president was (and probably still is) fearful of the potential media backlash after continually promising throughout his campaign to remove Washingon D.C.’s corrupt “politics as usual.”

There are two parts that I really draw humor from the entire situation. First, Daschle thought he didn’t have to pay taxes on the service since he was under the impression that it was the gift from a friend. If he owes over $100K in missed taxes, then assuming that he’s getting taxed at 40%, that’s a $250,000 present!!! He makes the bratty girls on MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 look like Tiny Tim. I can’t imagine what sorts of gifts float around at the secret Santa at his Christmas parties. “Oh man, another Fiji Island…but I wanted a HAWAIIN Island!”

Part 2:

Hilariously ironic.

And who says politics can’t be fun?